Finding other joys.

James rests on his armchair playing FIFA but doesn’t see what rages within him.

His intricate passing and scored goals remain usual parts of his day, but his fourth hamburger will soon make him puke.

The clock strikes 3 pm, and his eyes roam the room filled up with trash.

His today reeks of yesterday, and not in a good way.

But there was a time fire poured from his mouth, a time when he met the day with such vigor and pride.

What was it then that made James certain? What is it now that unsettles him?

His thoughts lead him to a fridge where his hands open a big jar of milk.

Sour is the taste that swallows his mouth.

He spits, “Enough is Enough,” and picks the first trash off the ground.

In fifty minutes, he packs them into eight big bags.

Outside, each bag thuds the excavator’s end, and he imagines it’s the same end he has fallen into.

But as he pulls the final bag up, a growl raises his skin’s hair, and his worst fear, a Rottweiler with teeth baring out is 5 seconds from biting him.

His eyes turn white, and his vision blurs.

His mouth screams a sound like a bear's growl.

The Rottweiler steps back confused, unsure whether to charge or stay away.

James uses this: the dog waltzing forward with uncertainty, him moonwalking away with a weird shout. (hee hee)

They go on with their dance till his back eventually touches the hardwood of his door.

Inside his house, he breathes a sigh of relief and bursts into a great laugh.

James’ body shakes with adrenaline, but he has felt his first real joy in six weeks.

Consistent enjoyment of fleeting joy can be draining, especially when it is the only constant.

At times, we need the sour milk, that breaking point that makes us say, “Enough is enough.”

Fright is in our nature, uncertainty also is. But we can tap into courage, another sure part of us.

We can take that first step even when the road seems dark.

So my brethren today I ask.

Will you take the trash out?

The joy you’ve been seeking may be in what you’ve been pushing away.

Return.

Face it, and maybe that smile will pop.

Once again, your friend, the AprilCentaur cherishes you.

Enjoy your lovely weekend.